


A Heart Like Yours

by SandraOnite



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: I'm not spoiling the fic through the tags, M/M, meeting online
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-30 06:36:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5153879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandraOnite/pseuds/SandraOnite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He just met him online. He was just a boy he knew. He did not like him and these were just dreams, nothing more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my 2015 nanowrimo and will be updated at least once a week until it's completed. Thanks Hanna for being my beta, you're amazing.

“Why do you need the date my mother graduated from college? She doesn't even know that.” Oliver grumbled under his breath as he filled out his common app. This was ridiculous. There was simply no way a college needed this much information on his background to know if they're going to accept him or not. When he got to the section about his siblings and their education level, he decided it was certainly time for a break.  
Oliver stood up from his small wooden desk. Twisting from side to side, he stretched his back out. His room was dull, plain. Just like he was, his mind told him. The walls were beige. His parents wouldn't let him hang any art on them, not that he had any art to hang but still. He'd like to have the option.  
His bed was a small twin sized mattress. It sat sadly over in the corner. His family had been going through hard times financially lately and his room seemed to show it. The whole reason he was going to college was because he didn't want to end up like his parents. His father was a cook and his mother worked as an electrician. They had to scrape by paycheck to paycheck since his dad was laid off last summer and couldn't find a job that paid more than minimum wage. With a family as big as his, money was always going to be a concern. Oliver personally finds it irresponsible to have five kids with no certainty of how they could afford it, but his opinion doesn't matter anyway. Even if his parents agreed, there was nothing they could do about it.  
College was his escape. His grades were good enough that he could probably pay very little to go. Scholarships were making the whole thing possible. He was more than pleased that he'd managed to keep his grades up and score well on his tests.  
He was going to college for computer technology. When his dad lost his job working in an automotive factory, he realized the importance of finding a stable job. Computers and technology would always need someone to understand them, someone to fix them.  
Having to keep his grades up all through high school had taken a toll on his social life. He didn't have one. The only people he talked to on a regular basis were his coworkers at the high school's IT department.  
He did have friends online but it’s not like he talked to them very often. Thinking about his friends, he plopped on to his bed and opened tumblr on his phone. First he checked his messages and found he had three from different people he regularly talked to. Most of them were also complaining about college applications and anxiety about not getting into their dream school. Oliver did feel sorry for those who had one particular school in mind. He didn’t really care what school he went to as long as it was a decent one with a good computer program. A lot of school fit his wish list and since he didn’t have to pay application fees, he decided to apply to six schools that looked decent. Most of them were out of his home state of North Carolina. Penn state was his favorite school on the list but if he doesn’t get it, he won't be heartbroken.  
He responded to his friends with equal levels of support and mutual complaining, then he switched to his dashboard to waste time. It was six pm and the only other thing he had to do today was write an essay for english. It wouldn’t take him more than an hour at most. English wasn’t his favorite subject and certainly not something he would do before it had to be done.  
A couple of posts down and he came across a selfie one of his mutuals had reblogged. The tag they had added read ‘hot damn’. Oliver smirked and glanced at the photo again. Hot damn was right, he thought. The person in question was a guy with chocolate eyes and a smirk that clearly was meant to entice. Oliver had to admit, it was working.  
Clicking on the link to the person's blog, Oliver searched for more photos of him. He found more than expected. Oliver promptly hit ‘follow’ purely because of one photo in particular.  
Despite the fact that he had never posted a selfie on his blog before, he felt the desire to. He sat up in bed and aimed his front facing camera and clicked. The photo turned out okay enough so he posted it and smiled.  
Oliver then remembered the essay and sighed. Enough fun for a day, he thought and returned to his desk to type away some bullshit about how beautiful he found a poem he hadn’t even read yet.  
when he finished the essay he went to the kitchen in search of food. Oliver’s mom was home but his dad was working so he wasn’t surprised that he found no one home. His mom didn’t usually leave the bedroom unless dad was home. She likes to pretend that her family doesn’t know that she's drinking herself to death in there and Oliver isn’t going to tell her otherwise.  
He managed to find some granola and a banana, which was more than he expected. He returned to his room and flipped through a magazine as he ate.  
On a whim he checked tumblr again to see if his friends had responded yet or not. One of them had, but that’s not what caught his attention. Right above his friends message was an ask. “well aren’t you attractive,” it read. Oliver’s eyes widened. The message was from the hot guy he had followed a few hours ago. I guess it was a good idea to take that selfie then, Oliver thought.  
The next fifteen minutes were spent trying to formulate a perfect response to show he wasn’t shocked that the hot guy was talking to him. Just keep your cool Oliver, he thought.  
Eventually he decided to say screw it and hit send. “Not so bad yourself” the message read. Oliver cringed at the corniness of it but he couldn’t think of anything better.  
For five minutes he avoided refreshing his message box so he wouldn’t seem eager. He tapped his finger over and over again so if anyone else had been nearby, they certainly would have been annoyed.  
Growing impatient, he finally refreshed it. “I know.” One of the two messages read. Oliver scoffed. Asshole, he thought with a smile. Then his eyes moved upwards and saw the second message. “How are college apps going?” the second message from the man said. Oliver had forgotten that he’d complained about them in a post earlier.  
He clicked the man's blog again when he realized he hadn’t checked to see his name earlier when he followed. Glancing at the description, he read. “Connor, gay, (he/him).”  
Oliver tapped back to the message to respond. “They’re going good, a little long though. Are you filling them out too?” Oliver reread the message and checked for errors. Finding none, he hit send.  
He grinned and laid back on to his bed. It's not like he was expecting anything to come from this. It was just a conversation with some guy on tumblr. He talked to people on tumblr everyday. To be fair, he thought, it wasn’t usually people this attractive, but that’s beside the point.  
Connor’s response came quickly. He must be checking his messages too. It was always nice when other people were interested in talking to you as much as you were them.  
“Yes and I don’t understand why they need to know my sisters education level. If I say she's in college, they want me to tell them which one and a projected graduation date. Im tempted to just say she's in high school still, just so it's less work. I doubt they can prove I’m lying, or would really care.” Oliver chuckled. He understood what connor meant. He checked the time. It was one am already.  
“I have four siblings so it's taking me way too long to complete that section. Luckily they’re all pretty young so it could be worse.” He responded.  
Oliver rolled out of bed at that point and made his way to the bathroom. He washed his face and brushed his teeth, only returning to his room once he was certain he was ready to sleep.   
He checked his messages one last time before bed.  
“Must be hard to get privacy around your house then.” Connor had wrote. Oliver blushed at the hidden meaning to the man's words.  
“Oh it is.” He responded cryptically and rolled over. He plugged his phone into the charger and closed his eyes. Sleep found him within minutes.

 

Bright light seeped in through the window. Outside, the garden was various shades of deep crimson and a soft green. The roses covered most of the space he saw and pathways separated them by rows. Looking farther out, he could see fields of green pastures. Some trees spotted the landscape. No animals could be seen but he guessed there must be some.  
The window was open completely and he could smell the air outside. The roses gave it a pleasant but not overwhelming scent. He closed his eyes and took it in.  
Moments later he heard someone outside walking. Oliver opened his eyes to see who it could be. Somehow he had a feeling that he knew who it was.  
Outside was a man of average height wearing a tailcoat and bow tie. Somehow it seemed out of place in the casual looking garden. Oliver’s heart swelled with adoration when he saw who it was. Connor walked through the garden, and Oliver had the weird feeling that he should be calling him Walsh. He appeared to be inspecting the flowers.  
Oliver smiled and his vision started going white. It started from the corners of his eyes and moved inwards and he felt like he was being sucked out of the world he was in. 

 

Waking with a start, Oliver huffed loudly. His body was covered in sweat. He sat up to rip off his soaked shirt and laid back down. It was a pleasant dream. He couldn’t fathom why he woke up like this. Looking over at his clock, he saw that it was five am. Oliver groaned loudly.  
School started at seven so he might as well get up. He reached for his clock and turned the alarm off so he wouldn’t have to hear it later.  
Oliver grabbed his phone and stretched the charging cord out so he wouldn’t use up all the battery. 7 – 5 – 6 – 2 he tapped in his password and his phone came to life. Tumblr was still open on the screen from the night before so he scrolled his dashboard a bit before remembering to check for messages.  
He had a couple. Two from friends and one from the person he was really check for. He knew it was rude but he ignored his friends messages for now and read Connors.  
“Do you have kik then? Tumblr's messaging system isn’t the best.” Oliver grinned. Maybe this would last longer than he thought it would. He sent a response with his kik username and waited for a message to appear. In the time he was waiting, he responded to his friends and went to the bathroom the brush his teeth. When he got back his phone alerted him of a new friend on kik.  
Oliver opened his phone and checked to see that it was indeed Connor. It was, so he added him back and started a chat. “Why are you up so early then?” Oliver typed.  
The message immediately was read and he could see that connor was typing out a reply. Yes this was definitely an improvement from tumblr.  
“I could ask you the same question. Are we in the same time zone?” His response read. Oliver grinned and told him he was in eastern standard time.  
“So am I.” connor responded but he was still typing so Oliver waited until his next message was sent.  
“Do we live near each other? What state are you in?” connor asked. Oliver hoped to any holy being that they lived near each other.  
“North Carolina.” He responded. Connor started typing again and the response was less than ideal.  
“Pennsylvania. That would be quite a drive. Maybe someday.”  
Oliver agreed that if they became good friends- or more, his mind chimed in- then they’d probably meet eventually.  
Not having anything else to really say, Oliver typed “I had a dream about you last night”. He didn’t even realize how that could’ve been taken until connor responded.  
“What kind of dream?” it read. Oliver could practically here Connors tone through the message and he blushed. Typing out a quick “shut up”, he sent it and locked his phone.  
He rolled out of bed and got ready for school. The bus arrived at six thirty and he had already spent till six talking to connor.  
He threw on the first t-shirt he saw and some sweatpants to accompany it. He didn’t care what he looked like today. Senior year meant he didn’t have to care about most things. The other three years of his high school career he had tried to keep up appearances but that was over now. I'm just practicing for college, Oliver chuckled to himself.  
He grabbed his bag and headed outside to wait for the bus. His house had a short driveway so it didn’t take long before he was just standing with nothing to do. He reached inside his pocket and grabbed his phone.  
Pulling it out, he saw that he had three messages on kik from Connor. He read them in the order they were sent.  
“Come on, Oliver.”  
“You’re seriously not going to tell me what the dream was about?”  
“You can't just say something like that. I'm dying of curiosity.”  
Oliver chuckled and decided that he really had to respond now. Connor could see that he read them so he didn’t have time to formulate the perfect response.  
“Are you dead?” Oliver typed back, just to be dick. The message was promptly read and responded to in less than a minute. Oliver had to applaud him on his typing speed. Also this meant he was just watching his phone and waiting for Oliver’s response and he didn’t know quite how to feel about that.  
“Yes.” Connor responded. “But I’ll pull a frankenstein if you tell me what the dream was.” Oliver snorted at the text.  
“It was just you checking out some roses.” He typed. “You looked great.” He sent a second later to change the conversation topic. The message was read but Connor didn’t type anything back. Oliver groaned and saw that his bus was here anyway. He plugged his ear buds into his phone and turned up his music so he wouldn’t have to hear all the talking on the bus. How people could handle that much noise and pointless conversation, Oliver will never understand.  
He took his usual seat in the back of the bus. He was one of the first students to get on so it was easy to get whatever seat he wanted. Oliver always chose the back because people who sat back here, sat here because they also just wanted to be left alone.  
Usually there was just him, some girl who always wore the same style of hoodie in various colors, and a boy who always looked paranoid. He always watched them as discreetly as he could. Oliver didn’t want to be a stalker but he was curious. He didn’t even know their names and yet he has sat back here with them for almost four years now.  
Oliver resolved to ask their names when they got on the bus today. Maybe this year he could actually have some friends in real life. It was a nice idea but in reality he assumed they would tell him off and then it would be awkward back here for the rest of the time that they were forced to be in his presence. Still, he was going to try. It was senior year and there wasn’t much to lose.  
About fifteen minutes into their drive, the bus got to the place where it picked up the paranoid boy. The boy walked up the stairs of the bus with his head up and eyes searching. About ten other people now occupied the bus along with them. Oliver watched him intently. He must have gone through a lot to always feel the need to be so alert. Oliver didn’t want to assume to know him though and waited for him to sit down before talking to him for the first time.  
The boy sat down. He was wearing a black hoodie with some kind of patterned navy shirt underneath. He looked over at Oliver and made a slight nod before turning to look down at his phone that was always in his hand.  
“Hey,” Oliver said, then winced. His people skills were not the best. It's not like he got to practice them often.  
“What's your name?” Oliver asked and tried to pretend that this wasn’t the most uncomfortable he’s been in a long time. The boy looked up at him and frowned slightly before responding.  
“Wes.” He said simply. He didn’t ask for Oliver’s name and didn’t seem interested in conversation since he returned to his phone right after he said it.  
Oliver, deciding that he had already gone too far and had to continue now said, “I'm Oliver, by the way. If you were wondering,” he let it trail off. Wes glanced up and made a vague head movement before returning to his phone once again. He was avidly texting someone who was clearly more important than Oliver at the moment. Oliver took the hint and quit talking.  
They both continued ignoring each other until five minutes later the girl joined them in the back seat. Wes continued looking at his phone but Oliver looked up and smiled at her. She smiled back as she sat down so he took in as an invitation to speak to her.  
“Oliver,” he said while sticking out his hand for her to shake. She looked down at his hand and smiled.  
“Laurel,” she responded and shook his hand politely. Oliver withdrew his hand when she let go and opened his mouth again but was interrupted by laurel.  
“Have you started your common app yet? I mean it's insane.” She asked him. Oliver chuckled lightly.  
“Yeah I’m considering lying about how many siblings I have just because it would be easier.” He stole the line from Connor. He wondered for a moment if the man had responded to his kik yet. He didn’t want to seem rude to laurel though, who was now laughing at what he said, by pulling out his phone so he left it in his pocket and resolved to check when they reached their school.  
“You’re in three of my classes, you know.” She said. Oliver nodded, he knew.  
They talked back and forth until the bus reached their destination and since their first period class was the same, the unspoken decision was made to walk to it together.  
Wes walked behind them but didn't speak and Oliver decided just to ignore him. When they got to class, laurel sat next to him. He thought she seemed happy to have someone to sit with, and he had to admit, so was he.  
When she stopped talking for a second, he pulled out his phone to check. Connor had responded but before he could read it class started.  
He spent the whole class tapping his pen and wishing the teacher would finish so he could check his phone. Laurel looked over at him periodically. Probably wishing he would stop tapping. Every time she looked over he would stop for a couple minutes and then unconsciously start again.  
The teacher finally stopped the lesson and Oliver checked his phone again to read the message.  
“What was I wearing?” connor had asked an hour ago. Oliver bit his lip to keep from smiling too much. He was in calculus after all and no one smiled in that class. Laurel looked over at him with a questioning glance. He shook his head and she went back to doing the homework the teacher had assigned for tomorrow.  
“A tailcoat and a bow tie. It was very nice.” Oliver responded. The message was read right away and Connor was typing. The bell rung before he could see the message. He groaned under his breath and walked to his next class.  
The day continued in that manner, with Connor and Oliver exchanging messages when they could. By the end of the day when Oliver boarded the bus, they were talking about careers.  
“I'm going into law.” Connor typed. Oliver smiled, it suited him. “What are you majoring in?” Connor added as an afterthought.  
“Computer science,” Oliver texted back as he sat down on his seat in the back of the bus. Wes was already sitting there and looking out the window watching the students board the bus.  
The message came back, “I think computer science is very cool”. Oliver was somewhat surprised that he didn’t make fun of him. Most people at least jokingly called him a nerd, which was true but that doesn’t mean he enjoyed hearing it constantly.  
They typed back and forth until the bus came close to his home and then Connor said he had to go because of some after school club that he didn’t say the name of. He didn’t promise to text Oliver later but it was implied.  
After getting off the bus, his day was pretty boring. He cooked some pasta and ate while he read for class. His homework was all completed before the time five rolled around and he was left with nothing to do. Oliver wasn’t adept at handling boredom so he pulled open tumblr on his computer to waste time.  
He unconsciously moved to Connor's blog to see if anything new had been posted since last night. There were a couple text posts and some study on the effects lying has on the human body. Oliver didn’t read that but it made sense that Connor would.  
At the very top was a post made right before he must have gone to school. A selfie of Connor in bed with his white sheet pulled up till it was right below his nose. He looked cuddly, Oliver thought. The post was captioned ‘why does school exist’. Oliver snorted and reblogged it, adding a comment. ‘Cute,’ he said.  
The tumblr post had been an Instagram post first so Oliver clicked the link to his Instagram to snoop through and see more photos. Oliver didn’t have an Instagram personally. Mostly because his life was boring and he’d have nothing to post.  
Connor apparently didn’t have the same problem. His Instagram had over two hundred photos posted and Oliver spent an hour just scrolling through them and being careful not to click like on a photo from his last year christmas party.  
The man had an active social life it seemed. Most photos he could be seen with his best friend, some girl who wore expensive jewelry, and a guy who looked to be a football player. Oliver was a little concerned that the other guy could be his boyfriend but that thought was corrected when there was a picture of connor with the guy and a girl he was kissing. The caption was ‘ugh pda much’ and Oliver laughed a little too loud.  
He was slightly disappointed when he ran out of photos to view. He closed out of the screen and went back to tumblr just to scroll through his dashboard.  
Minutes later he received a text from connor.  
“Kill me now.” It read. Oliver grinned as he unlocked his phone to answer.  
“What happened?” He responded and included the gun emoji as an attempt to be cute.  
“Adorable. Anyway Michaela would not shut up today. I understand that its debate club and that’s kind of the point but her voice just gets grating after a while.” Connor wrote.  
Of course he was in debate club, thought Oliver. It was perfect for the lawyer in training.  
They talked until midnight about random things that didn’t matter but for some reason made Oliver feel closer to connor. He didn’t know why he was talking to Oliver of all people. He could have anyone he wanted. Despite his worries that connor was using him, he continued to talk to connor. He didn’t have any reason to think he was being used anyway.  
Eventually he had to sleep and when he told connor so he received a goodnight text accompanied by a kiss emoji. Oliver blushed slightly and turned off his phone. 

Many days continued in this manner. Oliver would wake up and wish connor good morning, then take the bus and talk with laurel. When he got home he would homework and fill out scholarship applications until Connor finished with debate club and texted him. The two would talk until it was time to sleep and it would continue the next day. Oliver enjoyed his new life. Talking to Connor helped him feel less alone and laurel was by far the best friend he has ever had. Many months passed until January had arrived and everyone began receiving college acceptance letters.  
Oliver got accepted into almost all colleges he applied to. MIT didn’t accept him but they were pricks anyway, Oliver decided. Of all the colleges on his list, there was one that he was excited to go to, Penn State, and it wasn’t at all because Connor was from that state and he was hoping Connor was going there. He didn’t want to ask and seem weird or stalkerish but Connor broke the topic later that day.  
“I got into Penn State” the text read and Oliver’s heart rate picked up. He decided not to tell Connor of his decision and instead asked a question.  
“So what are we to each other?” He asked. Connor had been flirting with him for months and he just wanted to understand why.  
“I don’t do boyfriends, if that’s what you’re asking.” Connor responded so quickly that Oliver was unsure how he even did it. When reading the message, his hopes were dashed. Here he thought maybe they were getting somewhere but Connor was really just being friendly. Maybe he was incapable of not flirting with someone. It would make sense. Oliver groaned and locked his phone while flopping back on to his bed. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. He didn’t want to deal with Connor right now. Sleep hit him quickly when his head hit the pillow.

 

The room was warm, not just in temperature, but also in colors. Wooden panels covered all the walls and he was sitting in a green leather chair. He could feel the cool leather against his hand. The fireplace in front of him was crackling slowly. Oliver looked up and saw a painting of him and a woman he knew to be his wife. It didn’t bother him for some reason that he was married to a woman. He looked at the painting fondly.  
Oliver looked over when he heard someone enter. It was Walsh. He grinned at the man he knew so well and beckoned him over with a wave of his hand.  
He joined him and approached the table next to the arm chair Oliver was still sitting in. Walsh poured both of them a drink and sat in the chair opposite from Oliver’s.  
“How was your day, sir?” Walsh asked him and sipped on his drink. Oliver smiled and took a gulp of his own before responding.  
“Fairly good, and you?”  
Walsh smiled at Oliver’s politeness but had nothing to really contribute to the conversation unless he wanted to complain about his daily duties. Instead he just nodded at his boss and Oliver took it as it was intended.  
The two finished their drinks in comfortable silence. When the drinks were gone and an hour had passed, Walsh grabbed Oliver’s empty glass to wash it. His hand brushed up Oliver’s arm as he did so. Their eyes locked and Walsh grinned slightly. He knew exactly what he was doing.  
“Thank you, Walsh.” Was all Oliver said before he started to see white.


	2. Chapter 2

Oliver woke up groggy and his mouth felt like cotton. He forgot to keep a glass of water next to his bed last night and when he remembered why he went to bed so early he grunted and sat up. He fumbled around looking for his phone and then unlocked it to check Kik. He had no message from Connor. That was weird. Usually Connor would text him in the morning to at least say hi. Oliver didn’t think what happened last night was that bad to warrant not talking.   
Breaking the pattern of Connor talking first, Oliver sent him a good morning text and began to get ready for school.   
An hour later and Oliver had yet to receive a text from Connor, though he saw it was read. He frowned every time his phone buzzed and it wasn’t the one person he wanted to talk to. 

He sent a couple texts over the next few weeks but none were answered despite being read almost as soon as he sent them. Frankly, Oliver felt a little pathetic. Clearly Connor wanted nothing to do with him and here he was bothering him. He got sick of it after the second week of silence and refused to send anymore messages.   
About a week after his last message, he got a two word response from Connor. When Oliver got out of the shower that day he was surprised to say the least. He thought certainly that Connor was done with him, that he had ruined everything by asking Connor for more than he could give.   
“Good morning,” the message read. Oliver frowned, confused. There was no apology or explanation for his absence. Was he pretending that the last month hadn’t happened?   
Apparently he was because right after that message he received one that complained about a project due today and how he had stayed up all night to finish it. Oliver, not wanting to push his luck, responded to the message and didn’t mention the one month no talking period.   
Connor seemed just like he did before the event and remained that way all day.   
Around eleven pm Connor said he had to go to bed and Oliver said goodnight.   
Laying in bed, Oliver had difficulty sleeping because he couldn’t stop thinking about Connor. He looked over at his clock and it read three am. He groaned and looked back up at the ceiling before his vision went black.

 

The bed underneath him was soft. He felt like he was laying on a cloud. Oliver looked up at the ceiling that was really the top of the canopy bed. Red fabric draped over the top of the bed and he could feel too soft red sheets in his hands that he was gripping too hard and he didn’t know why. He was struck with a feeling of dread that he couldn’t explain till he looked over and saw Walsh laying beside him, sleeping. What had he done?  
His wife couldn’t find out about this, it would crush her. His reputation would be ruined if it was discovered that he liked men.   
He couldn’t recall the events that lead to this but he knew it was a long time coming. They were always going to end up like this.   
The man next to him hummed and began to wake up. Oliver looked over with sorrow in his eyes. What could he say to make this okay?  
Walsh stirred and open his eyes. His dark brown met Oliver’s and he grinned up at him. It seemed like Walsh forgot what was wrong with this situation until he saw the concern in Oliver’s face. Oliver could practically see when Walsh understood. His eyes widened and mouth dropped open.   
“Im – Im so sorry. I’ll just go?” he said like a question but he didn’t move. It was like he wanted Oliver to tell him he could stay but he wasn’t going to do that.   
“You should go.” Oliver sighed through the words. Walsh looked disappointed but not surprised. His eyes scrunched together and his eyes watered slightly but no tears went down his face. Walsh rolled out of bed and began gathering his clothes up off the floor. He put them on quicker than Oliver thought possible and looked a wreck while doing so. When they were all on he looked in the mirror and straightened them up so that he wouldn’t look like flung them on like he just did. Oliver watched as his face changed from one of worry and concern, to blank indifference, in mere seconds. Once again he was the butler Oliver knew. It was troubling how quickly he was able to put on his façade.   
“Have a good night, sir.” He said, impersonal. Oliver nearly called him back as he left but the words wouldn’t leave his throat. He watched him go and only when the door was shut and footsteps further down the hall, did he let himself cry.

 

Oliver woke up with tears in his eyes. Sometimes his dreams were too real and it was hard to differentiate them from real life. He wiped his face and checked his phone, a habit he has formed over the last couple months.   
He had a message from Connor.   
“I had a dream about you,” it read. Oliver grinned even though his face was still puffy from crying. He took a second to take a couple of deep breaths and remind himself that it was just a dream. He was in North Carolina, in his bedroom, texting a friend. When his heart stopped pounding he read the text again and replied.   
“What kind of dream?” he said to parrot Connor from all those months ago when they first talked. Connor must have caught the reference because he said the same thing Oliver had said last time.   
“Shut up,” Connor typed. Oliver broke out laughing. They were both being ridiculous.   
“Seriously what was it about?” Oliver asked, curious. He saw Connor read it and begin typing but it wasn’t until a long while later that the message was sent.   
“We were visiting paris,” was all it said. Oliver was under the impression that there was quite a bit more to the story, especially considering the amount of time it took for him to type and send that message. Oliver didn’t want to push it though and changed the topic. Connor didn’t say anything more about it.   
It was a Saturday so Oliver had nothing else to do. He had plans with Laurel later to get some coffee and hang out but that wasn’t until four. His homework was done for Monday and he couldn’t even talk to Connor because he had a Debate Club competition. While he was thinking about this Connor told him he had to go and he wished him luck. Maybe he was biased but he was certain Conner would win. The man was determined to win and he didn’t seem like someone who would handle a loss very well.   
Oliver decided there was no point in staying awake and he didn’t hardly ever get to sleep in past six so he used the extra hours to take a nap. He slept until two pm, a sound and dreamless sleep. When he woke up, he was surprised to have a text from Connor. The competition wasn’t supposed to end until five but it must have ended early for him to already be texting him.   
“We won,” it read along with five various emojis that showed balloons and confetti. Oliver smiled widely.   
“I’m so proud of you. Was it easy?” he asked and added a smiley face.  
“Easy as hell, they sucked.” Connor wrote and another message followed a minute later.  
“Can we skype?” Oliver’s breath caught. He’d actually be able to talk to Connor like he was there. Skype was probably the best they could get unless they met in person.   
“Sure, my username is olliecomp8,” he sent. Connors response was immediate.  
“God, you’re adorable. Just a second, I’m setting it up.”  
Oliver opened his laptop to the skype screen to wait. ‘ConWal00’ had added him as a friend. Oliver’s eyes widened and he wondered if it stood for Walsh. Did he seriously guess his name right in his dream? Before he thought too hard on it, his screen lit up with blue, signaling that he was receiving a call. He forgot all about his wonderings and quickly clicked the green button. His stomach was a mess with anxiety.   
Seconds later Connor's face was on screen and Oliver freaked out and canceled the call. His stomach hurt and he breathed deeply in and out before clicking to call him back. Connor accepted the call and waved at him.   
“Hey. Sorry bout that, I think skype messed up or something. I could only see you for a second before it canceled the call.” Connor said. Oliver gasped softly, it was more of an inhale really. Connor’s voice was gorgeous. It flowed smoothly and matched his appearance perfectly. It took him a minute to remember that he was supposed to respond.   
“Oh yeah no it's fine. I think it's better now.” Oliver didn’t want to admit that he canceled the last call because he panicked. Connor smiled at him and even looked slightly in awe. Oliver blushed and hoped it wasn’t visible through his computer camera. Connor shook his head and seemed to come back to himself.   
“Uh so I should probably show you my room, since you’ve never seen it and all that.” Connor stated. Oliver didn’t mention that he had seen his room through pictures when he sort of stalked Connor’s Instagram.   
“Yeah sure that’d be good,” Oliver said. On the screen Connor was sitting on a chair and all Oliver could see behind him were the blue walls of his room. Connor stood up and Oliver got quite the view before the computer was picked up to put his face back in sight.   
“So this is my room,” the man said as he turned the camera around to show the room in full. Oliver wanted to say ‘nice bed’ but thought better of it, also he was too awkward to try it.   
Connor returned to sitting and placed himself back in the chair and the computer on the surface in front of him. The man looked at him expectantly and Oliver remembered that he should return the favor.   
“Just a second,” Oliver said as he looked around his room to see how messy it was. Seeing that it was messy but acceptable, he stood and moved his camera to show Connor.   
“This is pretty much it. I know it's pretty boring. My parents don’t want me to paint the walls or hang anything up because they want to sell the house when I leave for college.” Oliver explained but Connor didn’t seem to care that his room was dull.   
“I was going to say that it's like you but that's not true. You're very interesting.” Connor spoke his thoughts and Oliver’s lips quirked up into a smile.   
“I do like your room though,” Oliver told Connor.  
“Oh do you wanna talk about the competition? That was the reason you called right?” Oliver asked him. It's not like Connor called just to show him his room or to see his.   
“Yeah but we can talk about whatever you want to. I kinda just wanted to- uh I don’t know.” He ended his sentence, apparently deciding that he didn’t want to say that last part. Oliver was interested in whatever it was that he was going to say but didn’t ask.   
“No let's talk about your competition. You won, I knew you would.” Oliver told him. Connor seemed to love the praise and rose his head slightly in pride. Oliver thought it was adorable and almost said so before realizing that would be overkill. He took note of Connor’s reaction and decided he’d have to compliment the boy more often if this is what it got him.   
“Yeah I thought we would win. The other team doesn’t practice nearly as much as we do. It was a piece of cake.” Connor smirked and Oliver was struck by how gorgeous he was when he did that.   
“Of course it was, you’re on the team.” Oliver praised him. Connor looked almost like he was blushing and Oliver smirked.   
“I mean, yeah, obviously.” Connor said, like he was trying to appear not flustered. Skype was a good idea, Oliver thought. He could finally see Connor for who he was, instead of the cocky bastard he pretended to be.   
“Did you get your college acceptance letters yet? Do you know where you are going?” Connor muddled through saying. Oliver’s eyes widened as he remembered that he hadn’t told the boy yet. Excitement flooded him as he opened his mouth, “I'm going to Penn State, with you.”   
Connor’s mouth dropped.  
“What? Really? You’re not messing with me?” Connor slightly shouted. Oliver smirked.  
“Not kidding.” 

Life was a whirlwind of activity until college began in August. Both boys were filled with excitement at the prospect of meeting. Connor was making more and more suggestive remarks as time went on and Oliver just did his best to ignore them.   
The ride to the college wasn’t long and before he knew it, he was sitting in a dorm room surrounded by all his possessions that he insisted he didn’t need help unpacking. His mom didn’t seem to believe him but she left anyway.   
When she was out of the room Oliver squealed loudly and collapsed back on to his uncomfortable dorm bed. It didn’t feel all that different from his bed at home.   
Finally he was in college. He could focus on his studies and get the education that would save him from having the same fate as his family.   
All his classes for the first semester were set up and he moved his hand around on his bed, looking for the schedule he knew he had near him. When his hand closed around a piece of paper, he lifted it up to glance at his first class of next week.   
Oliver confirmed that his first class would be Statistics on Tuesday and then checked his phone. Connor was supposed to text him when he arrived. The two boys had planned to meet at the coffee shop on campus. Oliver could barely contain his excitement. He started talking to Connor a year ago and they had just gotten closer over time. Connor never did talk about feelings but Oliver understood that feelings, especially romantic ones, made him uncomfortable so he respected that and didn’t mention them. Despite all of that, Oliver was still holding out the foolish hope that maybe once they knew each other in person, Connor would change his mind. It was a stupid thought but he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about it ever since they started talking about where to meet.   
He felt his phone vibrate next to him and he hurried to grab it. The message was from Connor.  
“I’m here. Same place we talked about? One hour?” It read. Oliver’s grin was so wide it seemed to split his lips. Alright, Oliver, calm down, he thought to himself. He’s the same guy you’ve known for a year. It would be awkward, just don’t make it weird.   
He stood and started rifling through his boxes, looking for the outfit he spent hours planning for this occasion. He just wanted to make a good impression, okay? It's not everyday when you meet the guy you’ve been crushing on. He wanted to look just right. Oliver wasn’t the kind of guy that put a lot of effort into his appearance, but this was different. Besides, from all the photos and skype calls with Connor, he felt like the other man did care about appearances. Maybe the other man just naturally always looked perfect though, Oliver didn’t know anything about that. He assumed Connor would be putting his best foot forward too. God, he felt like he was going on a first date. He supposed that was sort of what this was, wasn’t it?   
He finally found the dark jeans and burgundy button up he was looking for and got dressed.   
His vision started to blur so he rubbed his eyes. It just got worse and a moment later he couldn’t see. Oliver panicked, and then suddenly he wasn’t in his room anymore.

 

“I just be on my way, sir.” Walsh said. The man was currently undressed. It had happened again. Oliver’s wife was napping in another room so he called Walsh in. It was a mistake, they were a mistake; it didn’t feel like one though. When he was with Walsh, it felt right, even though he knew that the man should only be his butler.   
The man never pushed Oliver. He never asked for anything and just took whatever affection Oliver could and would give. He was starting to feel guilty. They had been having this arrangement for months and Walsh deserved better than this. He expressed his concerns to the butler and somehow that led to a fight. Oliver had asked Walsh if he was happy and he had hesitated. Even though he knew he had no right to be upset, Oliver couldn’t seem to control his anger. It wasn’t really Walsh he was angry at, of course, but he yelled at him anyway. He yelled that Walsh was hurting his relationship with his wife. He argued that this was all Walsh’s fault. If he hadn’t been so perfect, so handsome, this never would’ve happened.   
Walsh just stood there and didn’t say anything in return. His silence only made Oliver angrier but he could only yell for so long. Eventually he stopped talking and just waited. He waited for Walsh to say something, to justify himself. Instead the man just said his goodbyes and left the room. It never ceased to amaze Oliver how in control the man was. He ran his hands through his hair and flung himself backwards on the bed. Why did he always ruin the people he loved most?  
The next day Oliver realized his words must have had more effect than he thought as there was a cleaning crew a couple of feet down the hall from his room. Connor had broken one of the doors. Was it wrong that knowing that made him feel better?

 

His head hurt when he came back to his room. Oliver was more than slightly panicked but attempted to forget about the incident. Connor must be waiting for him. How long was he out? He checked the time on his phone. The coffee shop was five minutes away and he had about fifteen left before their meeting time. He sighed in relief.   
Unable to wait, he grabbed his phone and his wallet and left his room. He was lucky enough to get a single room so he didn’t have to worry about roommates. Connor had complained earlier that he was stuck sharing but it was with someone he already knew so it was fine. Oliver wondered how many of Connor’s friends were also here. He was excited to meet some of them, considering the man talked about them so much.   
The college campus was beautiful; Oliver’s dorm, however, wasn’t. It was nothing more than concrete and peeling paint but it didn’t matter because when you left the prison-like walls, it was gorgeous. He walked down the hallway and out the door, smiling at the sight before him. When he had visited the campus a month ago, he was in love with the way nature was prevalent in the campus. Trees were everywhere and Oliver couldn’t wait until the leaves begun to change colors. The weather here was slightly colder than his home state but it was still pleasant.   
Oliver walked the short journey to the coffee shop, speeding up more and more as he neared it but, even though he wanted to, he didn’t run. He reached the glass doors and flung it open with a little too much enthusiasm.   
The occupants inside didn’t look up from whatever it is they were doing on their laptops and he attempted to look relatively calm.   
Oliver walked over to the menu and ordered his drink, his eyes scanning the room as he did so. He didn’t see Connor yet but he was early so when he got his drink he said thank you and went over to a booth located more in the back. He wanted to be able to see Connor when he walked in so he made sure he was facing the door.   
Looking around at the shop, he noticed how cozy it was. The atmosphere felt warm. Maybe it was because of the hot drink he was holding but it was more likely the fireplace that was crackling. It didn’t really need to be on yet, as the weather was still warm, but it helped set the atmosphere, Oliver thought. The walls were a muted brown and they were almost entirely covered with windows. He could easily watch anyone outside from the shop.   
The door jingled and Oliver looked up. There Connor stood. He didn’t see Oliver yet so the man used the time to openly gawk at how gorgeous he was in person. He was shorter than he had expected but it wasn’t a bad thing. His dark hair was in curls like usual and he was wearing a black dress shirt with black trousers. His whole demeanor screamed that he was confident.   
Connor strolled up to the counter and ordered his drink with ease. He even walked with certainty.   
When he was handed his drink, Connor looked around for the reason he was here. He spotted Oliver within a minute and his eyes lit up. A smirk formed on his face as he walked, more like strolled, over to the man he had been friends with for ages.   
“What a coincidence seeing you here.” Connor said and Oliver was at a loss for words. Luckily Connor didn’t appear to notice his brief moment of shock because he was sitting down.   
“Yeah, uh, same. Wow you’re here.” Oliver said, awestruck that he was actually meeting him after so long. When he realized what he said he mentally slapped himself. Could you sound any more stupid, he thought to himself.   
Connor just chuckled. The man was both everything he expected and not at all who he knew online. It was a pleasant different though.  
“I'm here,” Connor said.  
They talked for a little over an hour until the waitress up front was glaring at them. Their drinks had been gone for ages and now the two were just loitering.   
Connor looked at her and back and asked,“Do you have your class schedule yet?” Oliver told him he did but it was up in his room and he remembered almost none of it. Connor’s eyes lit up at the mention of his room.   
“This just gives me an excuse to go to your room.” Connor remarked. Oliver blushed and couldn’t come up with a great response to that. Turned out Connor was just as suggestive in person. Oliver thought that maybe he wouldn’t be, that being online let him say more than he would in person, but Connor was the same online and in person. It was relieving.  
“Shall we?” Oliver ended up saying. Again he regretted his word choices. Maybe Connor wasn’t being serious and now he knew Oliver thought he was.   
Connor stood quickly with a smirk on his lips. He must have been serious then, Oliver thought.   
Oliver led the way to his room as Connor stayed silent. He didn’t know what Connor was planning but it worried him slightly. The walk was short and soon they were standing in front of his room. Oliver turned the key in the lock and let them both inside, shutting the door afterwards.  
“I still can't believe you managed to get a single room. How’d you manage to do that?” Connor said while inspecting the room. The man turned back to look at Oliver with one of his eyebrows raised. Instead of answering him, because if we're being honest, Oliver had no clue how he got this room, Oliver moved over and laid down on his bed. He didn’t realize how suggestive that could be seen as until after he did it but by then it was too late to take it back so he continued to lay there. Besides, his head was killing him.   
“I'm going to assume you don’t mind if I look through your stuff if you don’t say anything, you know.” Connor said, the smirk could literally be heard in his voice.   
At that moment, Oliver zoned out.

 

The room was vast, yet cozy somehow. He was comfortable there but he didn’t feel comfortable right now. The walls were a shade of cream and the floral pattern on the bed sheets seemed to set the theme for the room. The fireplace in the center of the room was turned on in an attempt to fight the pervasive cold seeping in through the windows. The was a woman in front of him; she didn’t seem happy. In fact she looked pissed.   
For a while he couldn’t make out the words she was saying. They were nothing but a series of mumblings until it clicked in his mind. It was like the sound finally turned on.   
“Do you think I didn’t know? I'm not stupid, Oliver. Maybe you thought I am but I'm not. You know I can see the way you look at each other when you think I'm not looking. Hell, sometimes you even do it when I am with you. Its like you wanted me to find out.” His wife berated him. He couldn’t bring himself to yell back at her. Despite this whole mess, he did love her. Not as his wife, though, but more as a friend. He didn’t feel like that was something she wanted to hear.   
“This can't go on, Oliver. I won't let it.” His wife said. His eyes widened and it was like warning bells went off in his mind.   
“Are you asking me to choose? Don’t make me choose.” Oliver said, distraught. His wife looked at him, amazed and confused all at one.   
“Oliver you shouldn’t have to choose. There's no choice to be made. I'm your wife.” She practically screamed. Oliver regained his composure and stood his ground.  
“Don’t make me choose, I’ll choose him.” Oliver said steely. 

 

When he came back into reality, he noticed Connor staring at him, wanting a response to something. He stared at him blankly.   
“Are you okay?” Connor asked him. Oliver blinked and swallowed.   
“Uh yeah I’m fine. Just zoned out for a second there.” Oliver lied. The last thing he needed was Connor thinking he was messed up and seeing things, even if he was. Connor looked like he was going to protest but then shut his mouth. His face, which had looked concerned, immediately switched back to flirty. It was scary how easy he could change his entire expression. This reminded Oliver of the Walsh in his dreams. He shook his head to forget.   
Connor looked like he was stalking his prey as he approached Oliver, who was still laying on his bed. Before he knew it, Connor was leaning over him and they were kissing.   
The rest of the day was fairly productive as far as both boys were concerned. 

Oliver woke up in the morning to an empty bed. While it did seem like Connor was the type to do one night stands and leave in the night, they’ve been friends for a year. He frowned and searched around for some sort of note as to why Connor left before the other boy woke up. There was no note. He could’ve at least said goodbye.   
Irritated, Oliver checked his phone for something, anything. No messages from Connor were there either. He groaned and threw his phone.   
Did Connor regret last night? He didn’t seem to at the time. God, Connor was the one who initiated it in the first place. Oliver decided that Connor would have to approach him about this. He didn’t want to be some clingy twink.   
Oliver did his best to go about his day as normal. He mostly unpacked and sorted through his things. He needed to make this room feel like home if he had to live here for the next four years. Oliver attempted to keep his mind off Connor but it didn’t work very well. He couldn’t stop thinking about him.   
Sometime around six, he heard a knock on his door. He rushed and opened it to see Connor on the other side holding a bag.   
“What’s up?” Connor said casually as he walked into Oliver’s room, uninvited.   
“What are you doing here?” Oliver asked as he shut the door behind him. They definitely hadn’t made plans to hang out. In fact, they hadn’t even talked today until now.   
“I brought food,” Connor said, confused, as though he didn’t understand what was wrong with this situation. Oliver just looked at him.  
“What?” Connor asked as he sat down the bag of take out food and sat one Oliver’s bed like he owned it.   
“Where’d you go this morning?” Oliver finally asked. Maybe Connor honestly couldn’t see what was wrong, but he wasn’t going to just let him ignore it.   
“Oh, I went to my room. I had some unpacking to do.” Connor said as he removed food from the bag and began to eat. Oliver didn’t know if Connor was acting or if he seriously thought everything was fine about what he did.  
“You didn’t leave a note or say goodbye.” Oliver said and crossed his arms. He felt pathetic now for making a big deal out of things. Connor looked up at him with concern evident on his face.   
“I told you, Oliver. I don’t do boyfriends.” He said. Oliver tried not to feel disappointed to hear those words again. He thought that maybe the man had changed his mind but apparently not.   
“Then what are we?” Oliver asked in a small voice. Connor glanced up and continued to eat.   
“Friends. Obviously.” He said and rolled his eyes. Oliver really wished he could punch him right now but he knew that would be unfair. Connor had never pretended they were anything other than friends. Oliver let out a sigh that he knew sounded more distraught than he wanted it to.  
The man on his bed noticed and placed the food back in the bag and the bag on the floor. Connor stood and rushed to kiss Oliver.  
“Just because we're friends doesn’t mean we can't do this.” He said between kisses.


End file.
